- SPARE THE CHILD
MIND THAT ROD
YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN BEAT !
Two major errors of those who use the cane and other abusive methods to CONTROL children are
- They mistook punishment for discipline.
- They conclude that those of us who are not beating and abusing children don’t discipline and we are spoiling the children.
Response to error 1: Discipline is teaching to correct the child , showing him the right ways of doing things, encouraging him to make attempts even if he fails initially, he learns that such is life and there is great lesson in failure which impacts on future successes.
Disciplining by discipline does not mean canning or flogging.
Response to error 2: Those of us who preach positive, supportive discipline have ZERO TOLERANCE FOR INDISCIPLINE but our methods are totally different from quickly rushing for the cane or making kids sit in the air or sticking chewing gum on their heads.
We first establish a loving, supportive and empowering relationship with our learners. We ensure they are free to relate with us without cringing since we want to raise bold and assertive children that will not be rude or brash .
They learn to manage that access and liberty , they come to cherish it and treasure it to the extent that they give us obedience without being coerced.
They learn by precepts and positive examples from us how best to conduct and comport, they are true in manners while we are there as adults or not !
Lots of logical consequences for actions are used to teach them personal responsibility, we also don’t fail to catch them doing good and great things no matter how little .
Such is celebrated and never ignored
Who doesn’t want to be praised ?
Very soon we create a culture that supports active and deep learning and we all enjoy our prepaid peace.
Prepaid peace, purchased with our investments of love, including tough love in each child, developing responsible children that takes ownership of the need to behave well whether or not an adult is present.
Your cane and corporal punishments forces the child to morph, give you the face that you want to see when you are present, the moment you and your cane are absent , yippeeee !
The child shows his or her true colours, may even cause trouble before you return to the scene and you will be wondering if it is the same obedient, compliant “angel” you raised that did what only monsters will attempt!
Wake up dear friends
You and I were raised by parents who used methods they saw their parents use!
They did not have access to the body of evidence based and research backed knowledge available to you and I today !
The best we can do is open up to learn better ways!
Most of those bad boys and girls on the streets were raised by cane wielding parents! Some were damaged, spoilt for life in the real sense of not being useful to the society again !
Spare the child
Don’t crush him with your cane !
Don’t spoil the innocent child
Support, correct in love, nurture
Raise bold, brilliant and assertive children
Teach them not to be rude, brash.
We would then have raised Superstars not monsters.
© Akin Benjamin
Positive Discipline Coach
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