Teens And Mean Words

with 4 Comments

Teens and Mean words

 

In one of my articles about teens, I talked about the increasing rate of porn with online data and a lack of proper supervision.

You see, I love all children but the age group I find most interesting are the teenagers (our mini adults). Some parents and teachers don’t understand why they do what they do.
I love to talk things over with them and if you are patient enough to ride with their flow without being judgemental, then maybe you can make them see you as a friend, mentor or someone they respect.

 

When I was a Biology teacher in a high school, I taught children who came from wealthy homes. Some of those students were unruly, rude, mischievous and always had mean words at their disposal.
Most teachers couldn’t stand them, but I found a way to turn most of them around.

See, most teens are fighting for attention, acceptance and to be part of a tribe. At this stage too, they are making strong moves on their personality and how they want to be perceived especially among their friends or school mates.

You’d be making a bad mistake, if you thought that they’re doing all these new stuff to hurt you, get back at you or just because they’re obstinate.
NO.
It isn’t because of you!

I tell teachers everytime, no child wakes up early in the morning thinking about you and how they’re going to make you miserable and mad that day unless the child is wired differently. And I love even those who are wired differently because in their midst you’d find the most talented kids.😊β™₯️

 

Now why am I saying all this to you? You need to begin to pay attention to your teenagers and to really listen to them. Stop coming back home being all busy and looking tired. If you are an educator in any secondary school, and you want to create lasting impact in the lives of these young ones, you need to begin to pay attention to what they say, their attitudes, unspoken words, body language and who influences them.

If you don’t have the time, they may understand a while, but you will end up pushing them to the other side where they’ve got friends with all sorts of wrong advice. Some of them begin to use drugs and abuse substances right under their parents or teachers watch. Drug abuse is a topic for another day though.

See, I’m not telling you something new or something you haven’t heard about. But I really need you to begin to pay more attention to these children.πŸ™

I have two teenagers and a younger one who is 8. We learn from each other everyday. They teach me their new stuff and I give them the old reliable and wise stuff. We talk music, sports, fashion, cars, dieting, girls, boys, dating, movies and hot social news. We dance together, watch movies together (both theirs and mine), tease each other and tell ourselves the truth.

Lately I had noticed that my first son seemed a little bit withdrawn. So I asked him what was on his mind. He told me that most of his friends from different schools are using swear words, mean words and always cursing. He said he tries to tell them, that those words weren’t nice but they just keep saying them and this makes him feel so bad. He had to block a few friends because they were always using nasty words, cursing other children’s mums and dads.

Wow!

Where was that coming from? I told him to explain further and he showed me their chats and group chats.😱
I almost fell sick. You need to see the kind of language these teens use with their mates.

So I ask you today, where do you think these words and language come from?

 

Here in Nigeria, must homes teach their children the value of respect.

You know what Josh told me? He said, “mum, they’re getting these foul words from music and it’s fast becoming a normal way to talk”. Then he told me, that most of his friends would never say these things in front of their parents but use these words on themselves while chatting or calling each other.

We need to pay attention to our children. We need to know who or what is influencing them.
We need to start making out time to talk, bond and know what’s going on in their chat rooms.
This is not an opportunity to play ninja with them or scream at them, teenagers need love, trust, attention, counseling and subtle guidance.

I expect that the proper foundation for their young adult lives were built during their 0 – 10 years. And if they were properly groomed, then helping them retrace their steps won’t be so difficult.
You don’t want to make it seem as if you’re a tyrant. Please, don’t go that way, because you’ll end up making them hypocrites – while they are with you, they’d behave well and when you’re not around them, they do the worst.

Please, begin today to pay more attention to their language on the phone and with their friends both online and offline.

It’s a battle for their minds, friends. We are at war with the enemy who perpetuates his evil through the wrong movies, music, peer pressure and all sorts of online exposure.

Words are powerful and when used well, they help build a beautiful world.

Let’s all do our bit and guide our teens lovingly.

With love,
Writer: Melissa Chukwuma

 

Further Reading:

https://www.allpsychologycareers.com/topics/life-as-a-teenager.html#:~:text=The%20life%20of%20a%20teenager%20seems%20to%20change%20daily.&text=But%20now%2C%20those%20former%20goals,emotionally%2C%20cognitively%2C%20and%20physically.

4 Responses

  1. Mercieee
    | Reply

    Teenagers are a special breed and can be fun to be with if we know their code well and can be patient with them too. Thanks for this piece! πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒEvery parent and secondary school teacher needs to read this.

  2. James Taiwo
    | Reply

    This is captivating. I have not read so long a script on education as this. Thank you but I quit teaching for a number of reasons which of cource this topic being one of the reasons. I must quickly state that if I have any thought of going back to teaching I’ll need a wider range of exposure and tutoring myself. Once again thanks a lot I’m realy blessed.

  3. Koyejo Sofoluwe
    | Reply

    I love the idea of being available to chat with my children and forging bonds of friendship and trust. It has helped me deal quite well with my children and also helped me understand working with individuals better.

    Thanks a lot for sharing this. I was hoping to hear a solution to challenge with the foul words and curses. We now live in a world where until a child turns out to be a good child, whatever method used to raise children is based on trial and error. So I’m quite curious about this case.

    I had an interesting adolescence. It was a norm to insult my friends mums or dads in pidgin. Those barrack kids were a bad influence but I dared not talk like that in front of my folks. Thinking about it now, it was fun, but while it lasted and while picking the Lingua and being yabbed every now and then, it was hell. However, the experience helped me learn pidgin English – a language that has got more street value than the “Queen’s English”. It was a struggle for me initially as I wasn’t raised to speak ‘funny’ but I learnt these new ways. There was some air or respect though. Maybe because it was a school being operated by military officials or maybe we were not being influenced by other forces negatively.

    How does one strike such a balance these days? There are many more “barrack boys” who might now be influenced by older ones who live by no code. And the open source media we have now is so different. How should such a case be handled?

    Luckily for me, my children are still 4 and 7 but as I watch them ehn, I know childhood, these days, is different.

  4. Abigail
    | Reply

    The teenage world is really an interesting world. The society isn’t making good choices easier either.

    We need people with good values to follow up and mentor these young adults and it begins from somewhere- Childhood.

    May we get it right. Thank you for sharing.

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